I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
pop tarts are not kleenex
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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