i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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