i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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