whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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