So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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