some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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