and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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