to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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