I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
