I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize