Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize