She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
