We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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