wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i dont even know how to be here
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
