its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
