i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize