Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I could fuck to npr.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
