Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
