I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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