Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
