Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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