The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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