i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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