she was so not down for the gang bang
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
