Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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