just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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