I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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