so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
