note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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