Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
