If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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