jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
