weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
