connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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