scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
