Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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