Just fell off a train. Bad.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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