I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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