just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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