I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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