Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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