I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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