I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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