it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
