I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
no, he came in my armpit
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
