Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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