Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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