Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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