More tranny stories later!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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