addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
