Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
