she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
