I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
