birth control should be required to get into college
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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