I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
