So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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