and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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