I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
