so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
