I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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