check it out our google latitudes are spooning
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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