I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
