Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
