You're completely useless in the revolution.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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