so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
