Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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